Communication...

In about a week or so I will complete my last final exam for awhile (unless I decide to go after a Masters degree) and I will finally possess a Bachelors degree...

It has been a LONG, hard road. 

 I got to work for a company that actually paid for most of my education. That's when I realized I needed to take full advantage of the situation and get myself edumacated. The problem was deciding WHAT I wanted to study...

I knew I wanted to do something creative. Where I felt like I had hands on experience and I could take my ideas from inside my head and make them into a tangible or viewable thing... 

Unfortunately anything "creative" wasn't covered by my employers education assistance plan. So I settled on something that I knew could be used in a wide array of jobs...

Communication.

It's a pretty broad subject, but if you think about it, it's a useful one in this day and age. There is less and less meaningful communication on a day-to-day basis.

Take going out to dinner with friends or family. I don't know about you, but I can't believe how many times I've sat down with a group of people at a restaurant intending to have good conversation and the first thing the group does is pick up their phones and starts tapping away. NO COMMUNICATION!??

It's pitiful. People now rely on electronic communication more than face-to-face communication then ever before. Try standing in front of that person you just texted and say what you just texted to their face. I bet it'd be pretty hard for most people. 

I come from an industry that has PUSHED electronics and technology (cell phones) into the hands of consumers, yet I can't STAND the amount of texting, emailing, Facebook messaging, etc. I would rather sit down and have a REAL conversation with a person. That is really the only true way to get to know someone. Not thru texting, not thru emailing. 

Face-to-face. 

I dare you to step out of your comfort zone that you've created with that little hand held device and actually invite that person you're about to text to meet up. I bet you'll gain a lot more from the face-to-face then you'd ever gain from what you're about to type...

Can people change???

Some people don't want to change, some people do.

Some credit not changing with being reliable and stable, whereas the people who WANT to change state that "change is inevitable" in this world...

So which is it? Do we remain the same to try and be reliable and stable? Or do we change? 

I think it's a matter of what about you that you want to change. Perhaps there is just one certain behavior or habit that you want to change, and still keep most of the other parts of yourself the same.

I believe that a person can still be reliable, stable and loyal and still make changes in their life...

In my mind change is necessary in order to grow and learn and achieve goals. 

For me there are behaviors and habits that I use to exhibit when I was younger that I wanted to change, that I did change and that I still want to change... My life has evolved and has shifted in different directions as I've reached the here and now. I'm still me, but I do some things a little differently now...

My past is a part of me, but it's behind me. I've learned from it and realize what mistakes I will never repeat again. And yet I've gained immense amounts of wisdom along the way...

I was reading another website that laid down "Ten Commandments" that a person needs to stick to to actually achieve change... they are as follows:

1) Be aware of the need for change

2) Want to change

3) Possess a sense of curiosity

4) Have the ability to self-reflect and be self-aware

5) Be open to feedback (the absence of defensiveness)

6) Know what specifically needs to change and what will replace it

7) Understand how to change

8) Receive constructive feedback throughout the change process

9) Be given emotional support and encouragement throughout the change process

10) Gain some kind of personal reward (reinforcement) from having changed

In the article it states that if there are too many of these commandments missing then you will not achieve the "change" or goal that you are reaching for. Keep this in mind. It's possible..... sometimes necessary to shed certain things from yourself....

Give thanks...

Today more people then usually "give thanks" because that's what you're suppose to do right?

Why not give thanks every day of your life instead of just ONE day?

If I could I would use my life to help people in need. The people in Haiti needed help after the earthquake. The people in the Outer Banks and New York needed help after hurricane Sandy. The people in Japan needed help after the Tsunami. I don't think people even have a clue as to how lucky they are unless they see the devastation first hand...

Here's a couple pictures of destruction...

In the blink of an eye... things and stuff are washed away...

I can't stand being stuck here in the midwest unable to help people who really need it. Why? Because of financial constraints.

I have too much "stuff" that I have to pay for. Why? Because I use to think acquiring THINGS was how you made your life more fulfilling. Americans are too materialistic.

It shouldn't be about acquiring things or stuff. Life should be about acquiring the right people who make it more rich. It should be about acquiring experiences and sharing them with those people who make life rich. Memories and experiences.

I'm thankful for the various things I've gotten to do in my life that I can be proud of and look back on and say I did that or I was a part of that or I got through that.

Having the right people in your life, that's how you should live it. 

Don't forget to show those people how much they mean to you. I've always said that actions speak louder than words. It's so true. Sometimes the greatest form of communication comes from saying nothing at all. 

Give thanks to the people who mean the most in your life. 

Little Red Riding Hood Vampire Makeup Tutorial

This halloween I dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood who ate the Big Bad Wolf... So basically Little Red Riding Hood with fangs! 

It was a big hit and I had so much fun doing it! (I always like being super creative with my halloween costumes since it's my favorite holiday of the year!)

Here are a few pictures from when I was testing my makeup for the look...

And here's the whole costume.... I LOVED it! It's probably one of my favorite costumes I've ever done (My homemade Lara Croft costume was by far my favorite!)

I also made a YouTube makeup tutorial for this "vampy" smokey look... here's the link to that...

Little Red Riding Hood Vampire Makeup Tutorial

I'd love to hear what everyone else did for Halloween! I love getting ideas for future costumes and what not! Hope you all enjoyed seeing how to transform yourself into a twist on a fairy tale!  :)

Last day on Earth...

Just the other day I asked someone who I had sort of "looked up to" if he'd rather be doing something (career wise) he REALLY loved to do rather then just working so hard just for the money aspect of it.....

His reply was "No, money can buy my toys (motorcycles, cars, boats, etc) that make me happy" and then he went on to say "I don't agree with loving what you do for a job, that's why it's called work"..... 

I disagreed so fast it made my head spin! 

In the words of Steve Jobs "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?"..... He said that if the answer were "no" too many days in a row then something needed to change. If you KNEW for certain that today was going to be your last day here on earth.... would you be doing what you do on a day-to-day basis currently? I'm guessing a LOT of people would say "no". 

I believe wholeheartedly that true happiness comes from doing something you are completely passionate at with your whole heart and you ENJOY doing it. Yes, some days will be harder then others, but I can't seem to wrap my head around doing something that makes me miserable and yet somehow being "passionate" about it just because it makes me a lot of money. If I'm miserable in a particular job then I WON'T be passionate about it and in turn WONT make a lot of money from it.

Happiness can't be bought. It may seem like you have happiness when you have a new "toy" like a new car or a new gadget... but that sort of elation will eventually wear off. 

True happiness is feeling fulfilled. In all of life. Having great friendships and relationships. Loving yourself. Loving what you do in life....

Steve Jobs also mentioned how being fired from Apple the first time around was one of the best things that ever happened to him because it allowed him to open up the creative side of himself again.... and that's EXACTLY how I feel right now. 

Just because one door closes in life doesn't mean that life is over... it just means that one or MANY more doors are opening in a new direction. Don't be discouraged. And just like Steve Jobs quoted in one of his speeches.... "Stay hungry, Stay Foolish"

Losing a job, but gaining focus...

There's nothing worse then losing your job RIGHT when you feel like so many other things are going wrong in your life. 

And that's exactly what happened to me last Monday. Coupled with health problems, friends having cancer, losing other friends.... it's just been a recipe for depression.

But I haven't sunk. In fact two days after I lost my job I attended a conference for Marketing (a field that I REALLY want to work in) and it made me open my eyes to just how miserable I had been BEFORE losing my job. So not having a job has actually gotten me OUT of that misery!

The lost friends have finally freed me so I don't feel tied down in this area anymore. Not to mention those "friendships" were toxic and terrible! Again, a GOOD thing that comes from a supposedly bad situation!

I have this strange sense of calm and serenity... of focus!

I'm finally seeing what exactly I want in my life. Where I want my career to head and what I want my financial situation to be. What kinds of people and friends I want to surround myself with. How I want to take care of myself! I FINALLY have the focus to do something about it. 

I had felt so completely trapped in that job, unable to gain momentum forward. I felt trapped by these people who said they were "good people" but really they were dark and evil and full of lies and hate. 

My heart feels free. My mind feels free. I feel free.

I have a handful of opportunities that opened up for me in the coming weeks because of attending that conference. It's almost ironic that I had signed up for it!

The pictures below are just a few of many that I have that inspire me day in and day out. The first is a sunset in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. This picture doesn't really completely do it justice just how beautiful and calming it is there. It's where my heart is 100%.

This other little photo was sent to me from a friend because she knew I loved the quote, that I love being fit AND that I love big cats! (Apparently it's from a Facebook page, Benefits of Giving? Having to do with running?) I'm not even a big runner (it hurts my knees and feet!) but I DO love the whole aspect of being physically fit and eating right... Plus let's be honest... You shouldn't ever have to change who you are for someone, run wild and free and be yourself until someone else comes running along with you and can actually keep up!  :)

No matter how bad it seems to get, no matter how dark the days seem, no matter how down you may feel, just remember that you are on the correct path. Everything happens for a reason. You may not see what that reason is right now, but a month from now, a year from now, 20 years from now, one day it'll click, and you will realize why you had to go through that crappy situation.

Right now I'm relishing in feeling free. I haven't felt like this since I was a little kid and it feels AMAZING! It's like when people use to ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up and you had ALL the possibilities in the world! That's how I feel. No limits. No fear. No regrets. Just freedom!  :)

Halloween Fun and Decorations

Halloween is my favorite holiday. I don't really know why, but I'm guessing because of the feeling of "mystery" in the air that surrounds it. Nature around us is dying and going into hibernation and it adds to the feeling of mystery and demise.

Here is how I decorated the mantel. Bat pillar candles and this cool bat screened tea light candle holder that looks all glowy and mysterious when it's dark in the room. And of course some candy in the middle!

I also LOVE the whole dressing up to be something different and not get judged because of it! Over the years I've been Britney Spears (remember her MTV performance with the snake? made my own version of it), Lara Croft (another homemade costume with leg holsters and guns and all), Michael Jackson from his Smooth Criminal video (I'll do a girlie version of a guys look anyday!) and this year I'll be Little Red Riding Hood who ate the Big Bad Wolf. I'll have vampire fangs with blood dripping down my chin. That'll throw people off! Haha!

I don't like most scary movies nowadays (Paranormal Activity= NO WAY!!!) because I had one bad experience with one and I never liked them very much after that. BUT there are certain ones that I DO like. Mostly zombie stuff. A few horror ones. I LOVE vampire stuff!

I would actually love to dress up as something dying or dead with blood and cuts and crazy hair because I love scaring the crap out of people when they're trick or treating! That was one of my favorite memories from Trick or Treating. People who made the experience THAT much more "scary" and fun!

Autumn Colors!

I live in a far western suburb of Chicago. I love summer. But I love the fall weather and colors even more. (I dread the winter cold!)

I miss summer but I can't get over how beautiful these colors are.

My favorites are the trees that turn a fiery ruby red! I've been trying to capture some of this on film with my fancy shmancy DSLR camera, but it seems I only come across the most beautiful colors when I DON'T have my fancy shmancy camera with me.

So these photos were taken with my Android smartphone. It really doesn't show the depth of the colors as well as I wish it did. But look at the VARIETY of colors! almost the whole rainbow!

This is in my best friends backyard (they are so lucky to get to look out at this everyday!)

This other picture is in their front yard where her mom made a really cool looking path into the woods! (their whole house is completely surrounded by trees!)

I feel like I'm in a fairy tale wonderland whenever I'm at their house because of how dense and wild the woods are! (Especially in the fall!)

Someday I want to live in a house of my own where I can take pictures like this and others!

Latisse is FANTASTICAL!

For all of my teen and adult life I have had THE shortest lashes. I use to PILE on the volume mascara! It was pretty time consuming and a real pain to make it look like I had a decent amount of lashes surrounding these baby hazels. LOL.

And as I approach the age of 30 I could tell they were getting more sparse. Maybe it was lack of nutrients? Maybe it was just age? I didn't know. But I DID know I didn't like it.

When I signed up for a few rounds of laser hair removal (maybe I'll write a post about that sometime?) the questionnaire I had to fill out beforehand had a list of other procedures and products that I might be interested in. I had heard of Latisse before and what it was. I was just a little afraid of it because of some of the possible side effects.

Possible side effects:

Darkening of eye color (PERMANENTLY)

Darkening of skin color around the eye (Not permanent)

Vision changes

The lady at the medspa I was having my laser treatment assured me I had nothing to worry about and that most patients saw results with NONE of the side effects listed. SO I caved and bought a bottle of it since I was so tired of having ZILCH for eyelashes.

Instead of using the little pre-packaged brushes that it comes with I took a teeny tiny paintbrush and actually trimmed it even smaller to use with the Latisse. (I sterilize it with alcohol after every use).

It took about two months before I REALLY started to see results. And BOY were the results awesome! I've gotten so many compliments on my lashes. They're longer and I don't need to use as much mascara now. Some people see results in which the lashes are thicker and there are more of them. I didn't really see that, I just saw mine get loooooonger.

Here's a before and after. Don't mind my goofy faces. The one on the top is from a little over a year ago (it was the only decent one I had up close) and the one on the bottom I took today (I'm defintiely not as tan as I use to be! haha!) In both pics I have my usual crooked smile! LOL

As you can see I have LOADS of lashes in the picture on the bottom. I love Latisse! They say one little bottle is suppose to only last a month. But because I use my own tiny brush I have had one bottle last 3-4 months! It's TOTALLY worth it to me!  :)



Dentist PHOBIA!!!

I've always had a slight fear of the dentist. It started when I was very young (around 5 I think?) when I had to have a filling put in. Back then (well over 20 years ago) they put this HUGE guard thing in your mouth so you didn't bite down on any of the tools or the dentists hand. Well when they placed this guard into my mouth they clamped it down on my tongue and I spent the next hour to two hours gasping for air thinking I was going to choke on my saliva or die from the pain of my tongue being clamped. I was too young to realize I could speak up and say something and from that day forward I DREADED the dentist.

Over the years I learned to just cope. As I got older I figured I would just take REALLY good care of my teeth and that way I could avoid going. Around the age 21 I had a really rough dental assistant that cleaned my teeth like she was scraping away with a brillo pad. It made me hate the dentist even more. From 21 until now (i'm 29) I've only had my teeth cleaned three times. Some may say gross, but the recent cleaning I had (a week ago) the dentist said my teeth looked great and were "very pretty".

Unfortunately one of my molars has had a really crappy filling ever since around the age of 5 and the filling has deteriorated. There was nothing I could to do to avoid it. So the solution??? A root canal........

OH HELL NAW!
I was scared all over again....

At the beginning of the appoinment I was surprisingly calm, thinking "well once they numb me I won't feel anything! I can just sit back and relax and let them do their work..."
BOY WAS I WRONG!

The dentist shot me up with the first two shots of anesthesia (OW) and waited ten minutes to let it go numb. He began drilling and at first I thought I was feeling just small amounts of pain from it. I kept telling myself "it's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing"

And then BOOM!!!!!!! It's like a bolt of lightning hit me right in the mouth! The shock of pain from the drill hitting the nerve hurt so bad I INSTANTLY kicked, screamed, cried and hyperventilated. I could't even control it. I was sobbing like a child who had just stubbed their toe and didn't understand the pain..... I probably looked like the little girl in this picture...
They had to sit me up and let me catch my breath because I was THAT stunned/hysterical/sobbing. 

I couldn't even control the sobs, they just kept coming and coming and coming.
Finally I got it under control and let him give me two more shots of anesthesia. He tried to give one shot directly into the spot that hurt. NOPE!!! Another round of screaming and crying....

He let me calm down again and after a few more minutes he assumed that the 4 shots he'd given so far were sufficient and began trying to drill again.

BOOM!!!!!!!!! I kicked harder, screamed louder and cried longer because the shock of pain was the worst yet. I hyperventilated for a good ten more minutes. I couldn't believe how badly this hurt and how RESISTANT I was to all this anesthesia.

I'd say he gave me another 4-6 shots in the gums, had me chew on a topical anesthesia and waited another 10-15 minutes for the TEN shots he'd given me to soak in. Even after all of this he still gave me shots of anesthesia periodically throughout the whole procedure. This isn't the first time I've needed WAY more anesthesia then a normal person. I guess my body composition is resistant to it?

I was trembling, tense and full of anxiety the rest of the time. I clutched my sleeve and a piece of kleenex so hard for the next hour and a half I'm surprise my hands didnt fall off. Even with 10-15 shots (I lost track) I could still feel small stabs of pain once in awhile. It was TERRIFYING.

So after years of dreading the dentist I now have a full out FEAR and PHOBIA of the dentist. I hope to God I don't need any other extensive work done.

It's a new dawn, it's a new day...

Yesterday was just no fun. Here's the thing. I'm going to try my darndest not to post negative shtuff on this blog. But let's face it. Life isn't all cotton candy dreams and rose colored glasses at ALL times. We're all going to have a bad day here or there. And yesterday was definitely a SORT OF bad day.

This picture perfectly illustrates the kind of frustration I was having yesterday. But instead of my username and password not working, our sales/activation systems weren't working and I kind of wanted to do this to my keyboard, not guna lie. :P

It's not the worst I've ever dealt with. It was frustrating more then anything. Traffic. Contruction. ANNOYING people. Things just NOT going right. It was a very long day. Fridays aren't my favorite to begin with because we have early morning meetings at work. And when I also have the closing shift... it means a LONG day.

Yesterday was one of those super duper long days that seemed like it was never going to end.

But I'm glad I woke up today and the sun is shining. It's the perfect temperature outside. The leaves on the trees are turning all sorts of beautiful shades of amber, ruby and gold. And the drive to work was totally stress free (just the way I like it!).

That's one thing I always enjoy. Just cruisingggg. So when I get to feel like I'm just cruisingggg when I'm driving to work it means I know I'll have a good day!  :)

Here's to being thankful for getting to wake up another day. No matter how hard your day, week, month, year is going. There's always going to be a time when everything finally works itself out and you get to wake up and be thankful that you're still here to enjoy life another day. Never stop dreaming!

Welcome!

Welcome to my fresh, new, sparkly blog! I like to think my life is adventurous, and I thought I'd start sharing the fun times with everyone! I'll try and post something interesting everyday, or every other day. BASICALLY whenever I have something of particular interest that I want to share with the world.

This is my sidekick Lieutenant Maverick (yes that's really his name). Can you tell I love Top Gun? He is no ordinary cat. He has special powers. Like coming when he is called and playing fetch (sort of). His most special power is his ability to manipulate us into feeding him whenever he wants. And also sneaking up behind us and tripping us (and yelling at us as if it's our fault) when we're not paying attention. He's the best "catdog" I've ever had. I call him that because he acts more like a dog then any cat I've ever seen!

I'll share more of my life as I think up new and interesting things! Signing off for now!  :)